Bloopers: Resume

I was browsing through the internet when I found this. Check it out.

These were taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine:

1. I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.

2. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.

3. Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.

4. Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.

5. Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.

6. Its best for employers that I not work with people.

7. Lets meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.

8. You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.

9. Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.

10. I was working for my mom until she decided to move.

11. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.

12. Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No Commitments.

13. I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.

14. I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.

15. I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.

16. My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meterology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.

17. I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.

18. As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.

19. Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.

20. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.

21. Note: Please don't miscontrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job.

22. Marital status: often. Children: various.

23. Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 a.m. every morning. Could not work under those conditions.

24. The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.

25. Finished eighth in my class of ten.

26. References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind me.

Convocation!!

UDM's 1st convocation was held from 13/7/2009 until 16/7/2009. As for the TESL students' session, it was on the last day.I wont be writing much for this post. Just want to show some pictures during the convocation for all to see..

Me, in front of the stage..

(Only few manage to get their picture taken here)

This is my family. Unfortunately, one of my sis was unable to attend my convocation.

Me and my bestfriend, Makcik..We look good together, don't you think? Hahaha.

Me and Zu, Me and Tiha..

Me & Ayi with Tiha, Dinie & Fiq peeking from behind

..

Me and Dini, Me and Farah

Smile!! You're on Candid Camera!!

These area all that I have to show. To all my friends who attended the convocation, please send me the pictures from your cam and for those who want the pictures from my cam, do inform me. I'll mail it to you.

Starting School

On 11 July 2009, I had to attend a program called Starting School held by UPM Co-curriculum Centre. It's one of the requirement for us to graduate in a few years time. This program was meant to exposed us, the new students, to the campus life. ( Hah, very funny. We ex-diploma students don't need this. Right guys?and girls?)

There were five slots prepared for us which are 'Suai Diri' (Adapting) , 'Seronoknya Belajar' (Learning is Fun), 'Interaksi Sosial Kampus' (Campus Sosial Interaction), English Fear No More and 'Graduan Unggul' (Excellent Graduates). The program started from 8 a.m. untul 6 p.m. Held at the Faculty of Modern Languages and Communication.

The program was so boring. I didn't really pay any attention to the activities. Instead, I was more interested in talking with Mas, the girl who sat next to me . Hahaha. She is actually the daughter of my facilitator, En Mustapha (I hope this is the right spelling for his name) for that day who is currently doing her degree in Mandarin at Beijing University. We just had a leisure talk. Nothing much. She went back home before the afternoon session started, I think. Her father said that she had some business to attend to. (I bet her father was so annoyed that I pay more attention to her daughter than him. Hahaha)

For the evening session, the activities were still boring. So I spent most of the time chit chatting with a chinese girl called Aying, a B.A German student who actually have no basic in German at all and another chinese girl, Sin Yee, my coursemate. This would be the second time a have a non-Malay as a coursemate. The last time was when I was in MAFA (Currently known as NDUM). Anyway, back to the topic. For the last slot, we didn't do the activity that we were supposed to since everyone was very sleepy and tired. So, the facilitator decided to tell us a few stories about the weird incident that occured before at our faculty. One of it was......I think I'll save the stories for now. I don't want to be scaring you off now, do I. But, seriously dude, it is really scary. You would pee in your pants if you hear the stories...Just kidding...Hahaha..But still, you better watch you back when you are walking alone at Sanggar Bahasa or the faculty. You'd be surprise that more than a pair of eyes are watching you.....Muahahahaha (Devilish Laugh)

Orientation week

It's been quite some time since the last time I posted my entry. Due to the orientation week here at UPM and minimum access to the internet, I was unable to update my blog (lame excuse).

For this post, a little insight on the orientation week. 'Minggu Perkasa Putra', that's what they called the orientation week here at UPM. The schedule was packed with lots of activities. It was the first time I experienced the "Battle of Cheers" between the colleges. It was fun but sometimes annoying. People screaming and cheering like a band of babbling baboons trying to mate. But still, it was FUN!!

My college, along with my other friends from UDM, is the 12th College.The room was not as I expected though. The room is spacious compared to my previous room back at UDM. However, the bed, the cupboard, the windows, and all other stuff are very poor. There a lot of mosquito too. I got mosquito bites all over my body. I think the college administration should place mosquito net at the windows. Just to prevent any unpleasant cases of dengue fever.

The seniors were very nice. Way too nice. There were no punishment for those who broke the rules. I'm note sure about the other colleges but 12th College's senior was good. The slots prepared for us were good. The slot with the ex-students of UPM was probably the best for me. I'm amazed by one of the guest on how He, i repeat HE studied 12 hours a day when he was studying here at UPM. As for the other slots, BORING!!!!

'Malam Tunas Budaya', a cultural event to end 'Minggu Perkasa Putra'. It was awesome. There were a few celebrities from TV3 who acted as judges. People dancing and singing, wearing all those fancy clothes. Pity though, my college only won 1 award i think. But at least we won an award. that pretty much wraps up the orientation week. Nothing much for me to say. My other friends probably wrote a lot on this. Feel free to visit their blog.